Archive for the “mommy” Category

Though Caroline appears to have her father’s immune system,  sadly she seems to have my brittle bones.  On May 2nd, she fell from the bottom step of a slide and broke her leg.  She is going to have her walking cast removed this week.  She has been quite a little trooper throughout all of this.  Paul took some great pictures of Caroline in her beautiful red cast and promise that he will post some of our favorites soon.

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Wee! It was lunchtime.? We took Caroline to an Indian restaurant not too far down the road. She didn’t eat much.? Mostly salad, a tandoori chicken drumstick, some onion fritters, and for desert gulab jamun aka Indian donuts.? It was awesome. The highlight of our trip was when a group of hipsters walked out behind me and from across the table Caroline points and loudly asks “what is that?”. I nearly peed ma pants.? I have no problem with anyone or their sense of style (except for emo kids, but then again I am not sure I classify them as people…they are more like git wizards) unless they take themselves exceedingly serious.? That opens them up to any mockery and/or mild disdain wielded their way.? I believe it is for their own good. I hope it will teach them to laugh at themselves.

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It is 22 minutes from midnight and Paul and I are discussing economic policy.  Wow we are so super hot.

Let’s move beyond that for now.  Caroline wants to send a big Congrats out to her Parrain for popping the question to Miss Wright (totally her name not an intentional funny)!  Now Caroline just wants to meet this woman who is going to be a part of the rest of her life.  Yeah Austin, you got a three year old who is convinced she is part princess, part cat, and spiderman hunting for you.  I think a nice family dinner would be in order or at least hot dogs at the Baton Rouge Zoo.

Speaking of upcoming nuptials, and no mom I am not referring to my own…  Caroline is going to be the flower girl in her cousin Jenper’s wedding.  This is the dress she will be wearing.

dressThis is what it looked like before I got all creative with it.

dress before

This is her hairbow…

bowAnd this is the star of the show pretending to be a princess while at home recovering from whatever Gras-Du she and Paul have had for the last week.

Thank you Granny Jillprincess practiceTa ta for now ladies and gents.

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I have a three year old daughter.  Jeez, I can remember getting on the school bus at the corner and looking up at the oldest kids on the bus, who were, at max, a ripe old thirteen years, thinking I can’t wait to be so grown up.  Funny thing is I am 26 and I still don’t feel grown up.

When I step back and look at my life, I am very confused, a little disappointed (in myself), and outrageously grateful.  Three years and a little more than a month ago, Paul came by my house before my baby shower, given by Megan and Jessica, at the house Jessica and I shared in the hood, to pick up sonogram photos to show his parents when he told them they were going to be grandparents twice over much sooner than they had supposed.  Paul’s parents are simply amazing.  That had to be a shock of a lifetime, but they handled it with a grace and a “je ne sais quoi” that i have come to realize simply permeates even their most mundane everyday tasks.

The whole clan made me feel welcome (you people know who you are).  My daughter has an amazing extended family.

I always dreamed that when and if I had children that I would be a sterling example of what it means to be a human being.  I would be married, have a career of which I am proud, and of course somehow I would instinctively know my child’s every need and want.  Well I am most certainly not married, although Paul and I are engaged.  I work a retail job that sends me into a death spiral of panic and depression every time i walk through the door.  Finally we arrive at the following conversation.

Caroline:  Mommy, I’m hungry.

Me:  Well, what would you like to eat?

Caroline:  Food.

Me:  What kind of food, sweetheart?

Caroline: I don’t know.

I will spare you the rest but eventually I resort to popcorn because I can find nothing that will seem to satisfy her.  A more well-balanced meal the world has never seen and will likely see never again.

Yesterday, was officially Caroline’s birthday.  As I was lying awake in bed trying to ease the pain in my knee in any way i knew how short of a hack saw and some whiskey, I came  to a realization.  I am a bloody sterling example of what it is to be human.  Every day I know my little girl sees what is most important, a mommy and daddy that love her.  And Paul, poor Paul,  he puts up with my ten kinds of crazy everyday and he still sticks around…You cannot tell me that isn’t love.  He is lying in bed finally sleeping after a feeling awful all day and driving from Lafayette back to Baton Rouge with a less than happy little girl.  He works harder than anyone I know.  I love him.

I think women have two hearts because if I say that Caroline or Paul are individually my everything, I am lying and stating a truth at the same time.

My job may make feel like a soulless automaton, but I do adore my co-workers.  I may not be saving lives or changing the world, but I am learning amazing things from amazing people.  On my team, there are some of the most encouraging and awe-inspiring characters.  I call them characters because when I try to describe them, they sound too large for life.  I know that the atmosphere in our little departmental bubble and that even I contribute to that indescribability, but  honestly half of these people don’t sleep, work two or three jobs, and go to school or raise kids  yet they smile and toss around playful, sometimes mildly embarrassing, banter that seems to float effortlessly across the room like the bubbles blown by Caroline that drift away upon the breeze.

I may not be a mom in the June Cleaver sense of the word or in the way that I fantasized, but I am a real mom none the less.  I am almost certain, that just like the fractures and scrapes that leave the scars of childhood, my flaws ( understatement of the year at least until I wake up in the morning) actually build character and make me a better mother in a way.   I will always expect the best from Caroline, but even if she screws up I think I will have shown her you can come out alright on the other side.

later alligator
Dancing Dancing Danciiiiiinnnng

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Caroline is no longer a baby.  Don’t misunderstand me, Caroline will always be momma’s sweet baby girl, but she is officially a TODDLER!

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She likes to pretend to read, which is a good sign for her parents.   Her vocabulary has even expanded to seven words: mama, dada, bird, hi, bye bye, cat, and bee.

Unlike her cousin Riley, who is almost ready for the New York Marathon, our sweet little angel is choosing not to walk on her own.  She does walk if you give her your fingers which is a step in the right direction.

I haven’t got much time, but I thought I would contribute something to this site, so that you people out there in the interwebs wouldn’t think that we created it for nothing.

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